Dumb and dumber
Hong Kong’s authoritarian regime-in-diapers gives a master class in stupidity
Dictators and other assorted authoritarians are often portrayed as being evil geniuses but the truth is that the evil part of that description is far more evident than any suggestion of genius.
Moreover the longer they remain in power, the more evil they become but even the worst authoritarians have to take baby steps before finding their feet. Hong Kong’s rulers are still struggling to get past the baby steps stage as they strive to prove their loyalty to their masters in Beijing, most recently by weaponizing the legal system to herd democrats into jail. In so doing they hope to prove they can be every bit as evil as the people who put them into leadership positions.
But their efforts to do their master’s bidding are constantly undermined by the markedly low calibre of the Hong Kong regime. This is because when the bosses in Beijing picked the local leaders they were not interested in intelligence and ability but blind loyalty. The bottom of the barrel has been scrapped to fill posts previously occupied by skilled administrators and persons of integrity who have fled public service.
The new office holders strain every sinew to anticipate what’s expected from them and, inevitably, they try too hard ending up with a spectacle of stupidity and pettiness which would be amusing if this farce was not so tragic.
It should be stressed that Hong Kong’s newly hatched authoritarian regime is very much like other regimes of this kind installed by brutal dictatorships which have employed local zealots to carry out their orders in places they have occupied.
The Quislings will bristle at the suggestion of occupation by loudly asserting that Hong Kong has always been part of China. Yet modern Hong Kong has the characteristics of an occupied territory, no less than places like the Baltic states which came under Soviet rule or indeed Norway where the infamous Vidkun Quisling presided over a Nazi controlled regime.
What’s different in Hong Kong is that the regime has had to dismantle a formidable complex of institutions which maintained a high degree of liberty. At first they proceeded with some degree of caution, partially to demonstrate that they were honouring their pledges of granting autonomy.
However the gloves are now off and Hong Kong is rapidly sliding into the black hole where others have slid before. It is following a dismal authoritarian tradition of incompetence and lack of self-awareness makes regimes ripe for satire.
Even in the earliest days of Hong Kong’s rebirth as a Special Administrative Region of China (SAR) the elements of farce began to emerge. There was a flurry of letter box repainting to remove the classic red colour in favour of a vivid green that was also designed to obscure the royal insignia of the colonial era.
Then there was a bout of flagpole adjustment to ensure that the PRC’s flag should always fly higher than that of the subservient SAR. Tape measure exhaustion was the order of the day.
Subsequently the regime became more obviously stupid and more obsessive in obliterating anything that could be taken as a sign of dissidence. The most recent example being to re-number a lamp post designated as FA8964 – the problem being that this could be taken as a code to remember June 4, 1989, the day of Beijing’s Tiananmen Square massacre. This certainly represents attention to detail but really…
Then there was an edict for taxi drivers to learn Arabic as a means of welcoming Muslim visitors to fill the void created by large numbers of people who now by-pass Hong Kong on their travels. Subsequently drivers were told that learning Arabic would not be compulsory which is just as well as some of them have yet to master multi-lingual grunting.
In a place where the tourism industry really matters this dwindling visitor problem is exercising Quisling minds. As a result they have come up with ideas such as lowering taxes on strong alcohol and lowering the age of admittance to horse race events to cater for a younger cadre of gamblers. Yes, they seriously believe that encouraging drinking and gambling is the key to luring visitors.
Also tourism related is the "Night Vibes Hong Kong" project which apparently ‘has boosted the city's vibrancy and vitality’ , no one knows how as the once vibrant town centres are now notably silent at night, evidently the vibes are just hard to see.
Meanwhile the crackdown on liberty is leading more and more talented people to flee Hong Kong so the authorities have declared that the SAR will become a ‘talent hub’ or, as the government illiterately describes it, building ‘Hong Kong into an international hub for high-calibre talents’.
Another bright idea for curbing the outflow of citizens is the new Newborn Baby Bonus giving parents HK$20,000 (approx. £2,000) for every new baby they can produce. Sounds like a bargain, does it not?
As Hong Kong becomes increasingly isolated in the democratic world the small brains trying to reverse this trend have desperately sought new friends in places where dictatorships flourish. Most recently they have been courting tiny Laos and proudly announcing no less than 12 Memorandums of Agreement promising increased trade and investment which probably amounts to whatever is 0.5% of very little indeed. Who knows where the next high level SAR delegation will go, North Korea must surely be on the target list.
Saying any of this in new ‘liberated’ Hong Kong invites a charge of subversion and long years in jail but satire has a way of making sense of tragedy but probably not for the humour-challenged Quislings.