How the mighty have fallen

The fate of British ex-Prime Ministers

The Exes Club in Action

One of the most excruciating non-jobs in politics is being ex-Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. It involves an amazingly fast transition from sitting in an office surrounded by flunkies to a rapid departure, usually within 24 hours, in full public view as a big furniture van draws up outside the front door to all their remove belongings.

Then they are gone, no longer at the centre of the political universe. What follows is the onset of concern over becoming irrelevant. It was precisely this fear that led to the accusation that former Prime Minister Tony Blair only jumped into the debate about renewable energy to grab some attention. He denies it but managed to stir up a lot of excitement by challenging his successor’s energy policy.

This was a classic illustration of how the restless souls in the ex-Prime Ministers Club find themselves in a perpetual no win situation. Sir Tony may well have been doing no more than attention seeking or he may have genuinely sought to be part of an important debate. We will never know because ex-PM’s interventions are generally perceived through the prism of their detractors’ views – and, let’s be clear - these exes are not short of detractors right up to the moment when they die at which point they are transformed into revered national figures.

The Ex-PM’s Club currently has eight living members, larger than at any time in history. Among their number is Boris Johnson, said to be on perpetual maneuvers to return to office. Then there’s Liz Truss, who appears to be quite mad enough to have the same aim and is meanwhile treading water by going round the world addressing dwindling audiences on her favourite subject: why everyone but herself is to blame for only lasting 49 days in office.

More substantial is Tony Blair making earnest attempts at being a global statesman, with mixed results. Ditto his successor Gordon Brown, whose gravitas is matched in equal parts by grumpiness and earnestness – rarely a winning combination.

By contrast both Terresa May and John Major (the oldest club member) actually seem to have enhanced their reputations as club members. Baroness May has deviated from the norm by remaining modestly on the parliamentary back benches, making well timed and well received interventions. Sir John occasionally tears himself away from his love of cricket to do the same but from outside parliament.

The club’s newest member, Richie Sunak, is still finding his feet, no doubt helped by being far wealthier than any other club member and having a US Green Card which could well be his ticket to an exit across the Atlantic. He has said he has no intention of doing this, so expectations are high that he will leave as soon as is decently possible.

That leaves David (Lord) Cameron, who plunged straight from office into money making ventures, made a brief return to parliament to become Foreign Secretary and famously had a very fancy shed built in his garden to write his memoirs. Incidentally, they all tend to get in the memoir business but first prize in memoir writing goes to Boris Johnson for seamlessly mixing fact with fiction.

Only relatively recently have club members been provided with funds to meet their expenses for occupying a ‘special position in public life’. At the moment it amounts to £115,000 a year for life. Previously they were out on their ears with very little to send them on their way.

Harold Wilson, a long serving PM, left office with severe cash problems which he sought to address in part by hosting a TV programme called Friday Night, Sunday Morning. He was so bad at the job that the BBC let him go after two episodes, thus denying the viewing public an opportunity to see the mind boggling title sequence featuring a couple disentangling from a sexual tryst so they could tune in. But at least he didn’t die with massive debts like both William Pitt the Elder and the Younger. These debts were eventually paid off from public funds.

Ted Heath famously remained in parliament to perform what it is often referred to as ‘the longest sulk in history’ as he bad temperedly lashed out at former colleagues, punctuated only by regular trips to China, one of the only places where he was lauded for being an ‘old friend’.

Sometimes club members get a part time prestigious gig such as that of United Nations special envoy for education, bestowed on Gordon Brown. Tony Blair looked as though he might secure a place in history as the Madrid Quartet’s official envoy on the Middle East. However latest reports suggest that there has been no outbreak of peace anywhere in the region, so maybe this is best forgotten.

All in all, these exes, living longer than ever before, face a largely forlorn future. They appear to be mystified by the lack of demand for their services. Those who appear to be most comfortable, are the two club members (May and Major) doing the least to edge themselves into the limelight.

However, you have to admire Liz Truss, who, against all odds, does her utmost to leap onto the lecture circuit. She is gloriously unaware that most of the people who turn up for her dwindling appearances are either unsure who she is or are simply dedicated fans of irony.

It was the late Queen Elizabeth II who summed up the club member’s dilemma. She was caught on camera joking with Edward Heath about his slightly risky 1990 trip to Iraq to secure the release of British hostages ‘You’re expendable!”, she told him, explaining why he was dispatched on this challenging mission.